Happy Anniversary to us!! 10 years. My how time has flown. And for those of you that avoid all things sappy, consider this your warning….
These last few weeks have really brought to the forefront of my mind how very blessed I am to have the life that I do. I am part of something that is simply amazing. I feel as though God has me wrapped in a flower and purposefully only opens the petals that allow goodness, love, and light into my life. And He has given to me the most wonderful man to share in my happiness. If I sit and think about it, if I really ponder all that I am blessed with, I am astounded at the “happy” that abounds in my world. And how different and dull it would be without the man who provides it all.
Now don’t get me wrong. We have our fair share of arguments, frustrations, and fears that plague most people. But in the same breath, I have a true partner in my life, a guardian of my heart, and a man who strives to provide the moon and stars as my daily feast.
I find that people are constantly curious as to what life is like when my husband comes home. And most are a bit surprised, and may I say disappointed, when I share that life is much like a honeymoon. Of course, we have a bit of a power struggle around days 3-5, but when he comes home we find it very hard to be apart. If I need to run to the store, we all pile into the truck and go. If my man is outside working on some electrical thingamajig or doing general repairs to the camper or truck, I find myself wandering over just to chat or to watch….just to be near him really. He holds my hand in the truck, in the store, on the couch and sometimes in the kitchen (tho that makes cooking kinda difficult!). There are flowery words and nice dinners out, along with stolen kisses and whispered conversations in the dark. There are adventures and new places and quiet nights in the camper. And while we are enveloped in this cocoon of home we have our children wrapping themselves around us much like a flowing tapestry that displays the very best of what we have together. I would be very unwise if I didn’t admit that God has given this to us. And it leaves me breathlessly shouting my gratitude to the heavens for His gifts.
Grace asked me yesterday if I missed my friends. I do…to a point. I tried to explain to her the difference between what I feel for my family and what I feel for my friends. My family, my kids and my husband specifically, are parts of me. They are living breathing spots in my soul that filled spaces that I didn’t know were empty. When they are gone, like when my husband is at work, there is a void that cannot be filled by anything or anyone else. There are times where the void is smooth and easy. It’s ever present but easily handled. And there are times where the hole is jagged and rough. Those are the times when it’s a bit harder to deal with. Now my friends, on the other hand, are more like the clothes I wear. Grace jokingly said that Sarah is my underwear! Haha, that cracked me up….she said it was because I’ve know Sarah for all of my adult life and that our friendship has lasted through all of the changes that you encounter as an adult….from being single to becoming married with kids. And that is true. While I miss my underwear when I’m not wearing them, it’s a different feeling from the one I have when there is a gaping hole in my heart 🙂
All of that to say that this amazing piece of work that I lovingly call my husband, has become the very center of my soul. He is a multitude of things to many people. But to me he is my center. And through that realization, God is. Because I know that to have something as special as what I am fortunate enough to have in this life, it can only come from Him.
No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
I know that nothing on this earth is perfect, least of all me. But in my life before now, I never imagined that this love, this man, would be so perfect for me. And within all of his imperfections, I would find my home.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for the gift of your love, shelter, and guidance manifested in my life daily through my husband. Every day I am graced with your presence through the blessings that surround me.
Thank you Brian, for allowing the Lord to lead you through all the trials and pain in your life so you could be the man that I needed in mine. I love you to the depths of my soul, and maybe just a little bit beyond.